Because of the pending bill due to for the servicing of the new Marshall bond, the looming penalties forNET SCHOOL SPENDING defecit and the difficulty in reaching the minimum spending threshold this year, an EMERGENCY budget meeting was held in coucil chambers last night to try and rectify these shortfalls.
Raising taxes in a political year would be political suicide, not to mention they are prohibited by statue from doing so. Inlieu of the painful and unpalatable service cuts, city attornies were directed to explore the possibility of assessing service-based fees for example you would be assessed a fee to recoup the cost of the water fighting your house fire. Restaurant owners would be charged if a policeman stopped by for lunch. This fee would be known as a SECURITY ENHACEMENT SURCHARGE.
APRIL FOOL'S
but then again
MAYBE NOT.
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